Thursday, August 5, 2010

you ever love somebody you can barely breathe.

There's time when I think: what's the point? why do I even bother? No one cares if you do that stuff for them, Lala, they don't bother to even say thanks. stop wasting your time on them.

Yeah, maybe I shouldn't waste my time on people like that, but I can't help it if I love them.

just gonna stand there and watch me burn, well that's alright cause I like the way it hurts.

My life has seriously been turned upside down in the last two weeks. My uncle's in ICU(Intensive Care), my great-aunt is seriously ill, my aunt was in a car crash. All on one side of my family. The side I love more. Tears have been shed, hugs have been given, kisses were planted. But none of it's good enough. I locked myself in my room and I wrote. I wrote like it was the end of my life. Believe me, it felt like it.

I'll aim my fist at the dry wall, next time, there will be no next time.

I'm hoping and praying that everything will work out sooner or later. I drown myself in my tears and no one will stop me. And thank you to Elaine, my dear sister that I love oh so much, Dipsy and Maeve. I know who my friends are and who to turn to when everything feels like it will crash onto me. I love you all more than anything. V and S are always here too. And I love you both more than myself. Seann, please don't mourn Cal for too long, he wouldn't want to see you like this and we all know he died happy with you in his heart.

RIP Caleb. Everytime I shed a tear I will think of you and try to stop myself. I'll always think of you as my big brother. I'll miss you, Cal.

Until next time,